Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
