I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
