So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I need to calm my uterus...
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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