It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
