Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(+44): View more from England

You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked

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(+44): You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked http://tfl.nu/tjun

Replies (22) Good night (729) Bad night (3151)
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(602): View more from Arizona

Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window

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(602): Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window http://tfl.nu/pu84

Replies (23) Good night (637) Bad night (2312)
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(847): View more from Illinois

sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.

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(847): sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant. http://tfl.nu/gemh

Replies (15) Good night (950) Bad night (5882)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal

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(412): I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal http://tfl.nu/ode2

Replies (66) Good night (2185) Bad night (4502)
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(269): View more from Michigan

So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.

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(269): So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing. http://tfl.nu/disx

Replies (22) Good night (2525) Bad night (6302)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.

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(405): I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning. http://tfl.nu/v1az

Replies (9) Good night (3556) Bad night (1417)
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(330): View more from Ohio

I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times

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(330): I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times http://tfl.nu/jfaf

Replies (6) Good night (2628) Bad night (910)
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(804): View more from Virginia

French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.

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(804): French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops. http://tfl.nu/0hfd

Replies (5) Good night (2130) Bad night (676)
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(509): View more from Washington

I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?

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(509): I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad? http://tfl.nu/r4ig

Replies (14) Good night (1311) Bad night (2001)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?

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(615): His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win? http://tfl.nu/uubh

Replies (11) Good night (2268) Bad night (808)
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(928): View more from Arizona

No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.

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(928): No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals. http://tfl.nu/o042

Replies (4) Good night (692) Bad night (556)
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(626): View more from California

It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."

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(626): It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed." http://tfl.nu/13ua

Replies (4) Good night (702) Bad night (332)
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(951): View more from California

I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.

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(951): I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays. http://tfl.nu/owjt

Replies (0) Good night (271) Bad night (687)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it

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(832): Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it http://tfl.nu/qafe

Replies (2) Good night (582) Bad night (253)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

3 2 1 whiskey

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(414): 3 2 1 whiskey http://tfl.nu/jfg7

Replies (1) Good night (595) Bad night (195)

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