my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.