I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.