I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize