yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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