I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
