ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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