and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
