But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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