Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
