I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
