you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
