yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Randomize
