Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize