I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
