grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
