last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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