I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy