Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.