You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?