Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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