Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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