I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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