she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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