nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
we're so committed to being not committed
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize