he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
