I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
