Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
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