Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
