i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
