dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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