I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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