You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
