I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
