I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
