She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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