dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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