I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
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I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
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I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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