Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
