Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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