His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
