And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Randomize
