there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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