We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
