For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
