Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
