Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.