So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
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She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
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the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize