Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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