what if every blade of grass was a penis?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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