i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
