i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Randomize
