If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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