when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
