Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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